Well, we are a homeschool family, so I thought I would write
a little about that today. First, let’s talk about stereotypes. There are
stereotypes based on races, nationalities, religions, occupations and regions
in which someone lives. Usually, most of these stereotypes are seen as
offensive. The same holds true for education choices. All of them. Yes, many of
us who homeschool have a stereotypical idea of public school and private school
kids. I’m raising my hand to say I have been guilty of this, and it’s wrong. So
just as some of you with public school kids don’t want others assuming they are
worldly cheaters with no creativity and no morals who are just sheep in a giant
institutional box of chaos; and just as some of you with private school kids
don’t want others assuming your kids are snotty over-privileged elitist bullies,
I would like to address some of the stereotypes we have come across and tell
you that we are not that homeschool family. I’ve seen other lists similar to
this, but this is specific to our family.
1. Our children are
not overachievers. The other day, I told someone I was homeschooling, and she
assumed my daughter was ahead of grade level just like some other friend of
hers. I sometimes wish this were true, but it’s not. However, I know if my
daughter or son does find a subject she or he is excelling at and wants to
advance more quickly, it can be done without having to wait for the rest of the
class. Also, if they are struggling, they can slow down without holding a whole
class back.
2. We do not stay in our pajamas all day
(usually). We could, I suppose, but I am a great believer in showers,
especially for teenage boys, so we shower and get dressed every day. We could
stay in our pjs if we wanted to, though, and if someone is sick, they can do
that and still get a little work done without infecting a whole school.
3. Our children do
not lack social opportunities. This is a biggy, and it is probably the one
that most homeschool families feel the most defensive about. The great thing
about homeschooling, is you can tailor social experiences to your child. We
find the activities they enjoy, and so the kids they associate with are those
that share similar interests. If you don’t think this is how it works in public
or private school, ask your kids about clicks. It’s a similar concept, but
without the bullying. We also choose to have our children participate in
classroom experiences such as fine arts classes, Sunday school, and academic
classes. They are also involved in sports, scouting and youth group. Oh, and we
try to model appropriate social interaction at home and when we take our kids
to church, restaurants and stores. Who is modeling appropriate social
interaction for kids in traditional schools?
4. Our children are
not perfect angels who never talk or cause trouble. I wish. If you know us,
I didn’t need to explain this. Public and private school kids do not have the
corner market on bad behavior. Our kids are individuals and have free will just
like everyone else, so sometimes they make bad choices. Sometimes they make
good choices too, though. Either way, we are there to congratulate them and
encourage them and discipline when necessary.
5. We don’t do hokey
things like hold a homeschool prom with just family members. Last year,
Jessica attended a homeschool prom. It was a beautiful event with professional
band/DJ, great decorations and over 1000 kids. Last week, I saw an episode of “Good
Luck, Charlie” on the Disney channel where a girl invited the oldest son to a
prom. When he got there, it was just the girl, her mom and her grandma. She was
homeschooled. The whole thing was portrayed as sad, boring and pitiful. I have
to say, I was a little offended by this stereotype. We might jokingly call
ourselves Clifton Academy or take a field trip with just our family, but we
aren’t sad, boring or pitiful. Do you know my kids? I’m right, huh.
6. We are not
political activists, separatists, or fanatics about much of anything. We
have our beliefs, sure. And there are some homeschool families that really take
on their causes. There are also families in public and private schools who do
this. We are more subtle in our support of things, and we are comfortable with
that. We try to train our children to think for themselves and hold a Christian
world view. I have never attended a rally or held a picket sign, but when we
see others doing that, we discuss it, and sometimes our opinions differ. I
think this is healthy.
7. The kids only
dress weird sometimes. I have one who has a unique sense of style, so I can’t
say they never dress weird, but she did the same thing when she attended public
school, so it doesn’t really count. The other one only wants gaming t-shirts
and basketball shorts. He’s kind of in style on accident. They know what other
kids dress like. They just don’t feel pressured to copy all of it. They look at
the styles and then decide if they like it or not. I won’t say we have never
bought anything because it was a trend, but we don’t do it all the time. They
don’t have to keep up with the crowd. We do talk about things like modesty and
cleanliness and what colors go together, but that’s about it. The last time
Jessica begged for a trend, it was Toms, which I would love to support. She
tried them on, and they aren’t comfortable on her foot, so she didn’t get them.
She got the Sketchers version instead. If the Wal-Mart ones are just as cute in
her opinion, she might get those. Brands, shmands. It’s all good.
8. We don’t own land
or goats or chickens. This is another “I wish.” It would be great if we
could, but we live in a subdivision with an HOA and a postage-stamp yard. My
kids don’t know how to milk cows, gather eggs or grow a garden. I would like
them to learn some of this, but unless we move, it won’t happen. That’s okay.
9. I’m not super
patient, super organized or a saint, and I doubt myself a lot. I get
frustrated and mad at my kids sometimes. I lose things frequently, and I have
to use a calendar and lists to survive. Oh, and don't get me started about my housekeeping skills. I don’t parent perfectly or teach
perfectly, and I don’t pretend to. I am at peace with all of my failings most
of the time, but I occasionally worry that I am ruining my kids. I don’t think
this is an exclusive worry for homeschool parents, though. I just think we have
ownership of more of our kids’ time, so it might hit me more often. By the way,
if you think public or private school teachers and principals are super
patient, super organized and saints and don’t doubt themselves, you haven’t
spent much time in a school as an adult. I’m not perfect, but no one else is
either, and I love my kids more than anyone else does, except God.
10. I don’t think everyone should homeschool. But, I think everyone should have the right to make that choice for their family. Can I tell you a secret? I wish public school had worked for my kids. We tried. It didn’t. So, just like you would go to the moon if it is what would help your kids have the right tools to succeed, we made this choice to pull our kids out of an environment that was emotionally and academically unhealthy for them, and are trying to give them the opportunity to meet their potential in a different way. If public school works for you, use it. If you can afford a great private school, do it. If neither of these are great choices, but you have to work full time to survive, do the best you can with public school or make some lifestyle changes. Whatever you decide, make sure you are doing it for the right reasons, and unless a child in another family is being abused or neglected, keep your other opinions to yourself and try not to judge. So far, this country is still free (although some might argue that freedom is in jeopardy, but that’s a different discussion), so live and let live and don’t be so sure you “could never homeschool.” I used to say that, and I’ll tell you what I have told all my friends who say it now. You could if you had to.
